VIP Bahama Mama!

Operation Bahama mama is in full effect. What does that mean? GTL baby! (Gym Tanning Laundry, a la Jersey Shore). I haven't been to the Bahamas in 3 years. My mom has what I like to call, a gambling problem and the people at Atlantis Paradise Island try to lure her back all the time. She isn't a high roller or anything. She's one of those ladies you see at the slots with a cigarette and a drink in her hand, sitting at a machine that she has claimed as her own. God forbid she gets up to use the bathroom and someone STEALS her machine. Also, my mom thinks she's a baller because they send her a limo at the airport.
Anyway, I enjoy Atlantis but I've been there so many times It's not exciting. I literally lay in the sun from 11am-5pm, drinking daiquiris all day. Maybe this time will be different because we are going with two people who have never been. Regardless, I gotta get my fitness on, unemployment can be terrible on the figure.

I got my velvet rope in the mail today! For my Halloween parties I've decided to go as a VIP. I'm going to hang the rope around my self with fishing wire, carry a paper on a clip board with VIP written on top and only my name on the list. I'll wear some sexy club outfit, it will be perfect. I'm not one to get excited about Halloween, but this is the first year I've actually planned ahead. I feel like I should put the shit on my resume.

Funemployment

"Where do I go to file unemployment?"

That's the first thing I asked my mother when breaking the news that I'd been laid off. I'm 26 years old and a college graduate, I didn't think these things really happened to people like me.

"We just don't have the money right now." My Supervisor tells me as I'm sitting there, stunned in her office.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Is what I really wanted to say. "What crackhead is doing your budgeting around here? Who the fuck hires someone they can't even afford to pay?"

I had only been working there six weeks. SIX WEEKS. I had left a perfectly good job for what I assumed was a perfectly BETTER job. Now I'm sitting on my couch, bitching about being unemployed. How did this happen?

I've been, what people refer to as "funemployed" for about a month now. At first it was fine, I was taking road trips, applying here and there for jobs, going on a few interviews, relaxing. Right this moment I'm hitting a wall. I am not making enough money on unemployment to pay my mortgage and the rest of my bills. S has been paying some to live with me, but not a lot and I can't bear to ask him for more money since he does pay for groceries, his student loans, and that shitty 1 hour commute to and from work everyday.

So yeah, hit this wall. Facebook is boring, I've watched practically everything there is to watch on netflix, and my house is immaculate. I've been reloading the job search web page every hour on the hour and there really isn't anything available for me. Sure, I could be a "sandwich artist" at subway, but that shit won't pay the bills either, and I'm not trying to foreclose my house.